i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
