i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
