I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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