the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
