Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
