That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Randomize
