Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
