Swine flu. Run for my life!
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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