bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
