break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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