i don't like sucking hair
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
