yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Randomize
