I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
