Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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