I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dignity is for republicans.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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