I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
