it was like his penis was on wheels.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
