Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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