Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
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