I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
