That's when you crack a 10am beer
babies were throwing up all over the place
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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