Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
