Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
