This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
