I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
