Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
im on a boat
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