I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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