he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
