tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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