is your mom at the bar?
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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