Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
