you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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