This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize