I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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