North Korea, Best Korea!
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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