He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
