Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
