I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
