What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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