Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
