U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
it glows. i had to have it.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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