And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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