u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
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