woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
