If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize