Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
it was like having sex with a tree stump
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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