i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
