I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
God I need to hump something, right now.
So here I am, sexting at work.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
