2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
