fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
you inspire me to be a worse person
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
