Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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