There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize