Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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