Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
