cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize