Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
