Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
