I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
