we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
