I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
so let's talk penis.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
40s are totally the cure
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
