We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
