I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
How does it feel to date your dad?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
