She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
