If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
True strength comes from lack of pants
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
