I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
There r osticjed everywhere
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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