How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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