My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
