K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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